Shadow Event Has Last Laugh 

Shadow Event Has Last Laugh 
Posted by FoM on August 19, 2000 at 08:49:24 PT
By Anne-Marie O'Connor, Times Staff Writer
Source: Los Angeles Times 
The only party line at this convention is the punch line, as all sides become targets for jokes.   Be afraid. Be very afraid.   Someone should have told political comedian Bill Maher that before he delivered his "Politically Incorrect" routine to the hot and restless activists at Patriotic Hall. The crowd roared as he roasted American drug policy with typical bravado: "I'm not just a pot reformer; I'm a user. Just making a light remark there, federal authorities." 
  Why do people go into politics anyway, he wondered, "the pay stinks. The women aren't much. Monica proved that." Boos rose from the sweltering crowd like heat waves. He was confused. No one in Hollywood ever calls him a sexist.   "I can't believe you think Monica is good-looking! I can't believe I got booed for . . . ," he stumbled.   "You [expletive] pig!" yelled a woman wearing a bandanna, flowing skirt and fierce expression.   This was not the Comedy Club; this was the Shadow Convention. And no one was safe here, not even fawned-upon comedians like Maher. But especially not politicians. Here, elected leaders were roasted, lampooned, ridiculed and skewered this week.   And satirist Maher was actually a hit.   He kept referring to the two major presidential contenders--Republican Texas Gov. George W. Bush and Vice President Al Gore--as "Bore and Gush."   "These guys understand what drugs are all about, big time," Maher said. "One of them had an 'inappropriate relationship' with Bolivia for a while. They could debate coke versus pot very easily. Pot didn't make Al Gore any dumber, and coke didn't make Bush any smarter."   Corporate political sponsors weren't safe either. The National Rifle Assn. has a new slogan, quipped comedian Bill Somerby: "Guns don't kill people. Our members do."   Will Durst, sitting beside him, called Pat Buchanan "a man who doesn't believe in evolution and, ironically, is his own best argument."   "Saying President George W. is like saying Pope Dennis Hopper. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Fabio," said Durst. "Bush said he wanted to get rid of the incentives of the poor. What are those? Sleeping under bridges?"   Then there's Gore, the father of five: "four kids and the Internet."   The Los Angeles Police Department didn't get off without taking a hit. After some accused the LAPD of excessive force in breaking up a protest, comedian Al Franken, assuming his Stuart Smalley character, asked any officers to stand up as he led the crowd in a lisping self-help affirmation:   "OK, close your eyes and say, 'Hello, me. I am a police officer. I am fun to be with. I have a hard job. Sometimes I make mistakes, but that's OK, because I'm good enough, and gosh darn it, some people like me.' "   Anyone left out? They got lampooned in a Shadow Convention-produced parody of the Los Angeles Times.   "Drug Czar Barry McCaffrey Declares Total Victory Over Bill of Rights," trumpets one headline.   "Democrats Smile Awkwardly at Loews Hotel Maids," says a story about how party members, "champions of common people, watch queasily as non-unionized single mothers pick up their towels."   The edition also mocks limousine liberals: "White Folks to Sing 'We Shall Overcome': Self-satisfied whites plan to sing, sway back and forth at some point during the convention," says one headline.   "Political comics are the canary in the coal mine," said San Francisco-based satirist Durst. "We are able to sniff out the smoke of hypocrisy."   Emily Levine, who bills herself as a stand-up commentator, said civic leaders should give up and turn the whole electoral process over to the producers of "Survivor."   "On 'Survivor' you start with two tribes, and each week someone is voted off," she said. "In the campaign you start with two parties, and during the primaries people keep getting voted off."   While the Shadow Convention was advertised as a sort of political VIP lounge, it was the real convention that produced the Hollywood parade, from the much-vaunted Warren Beatty--who also flirted with running for president--to Jerry Springer, the king of tabloid television. And some of the thorniest issues were hashed out at the Shadow Convention, while the real convention was a whirl of parties thrown by big party donors.   At one point the Shadow Convention took to the streets, though not by choice. And it produced some of the lighter moments.   When police cleared the hall on what turned out to be false bomb scare, British journalist Christopher Hitchens compared the scene to El Salvador or Guatemala.   "If there was a general election tomorrow, which general would you vote for? Now you can get a general taste of what it's like to live in a banana republic." Published: Friday, August 18, 2000 Source: Los Angeles Times (CA)Copyright: 2000 Los Angeles TimesContact: letters latimes.comAddress: Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053Fax: (213) 237-4712Website: Articles & Web Sites:The Shadow Conventions Convention 2000 News Board Articles On The Shadow Conventions: CannabisNews Articles On The Shadow Conventions: 
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Comment #4 posted by FoM on August 19, 2000 at 22:02:09 PT
You're Very Welcome Freedom fighter!
I'm so glad they make it easier for you to keep up. That is such a great thing about the Internet. We have learned to communicate thru typing and pictures. I very seldom listen to anything on line. I just keep busy reading and learning.Thanks and Peace, FoM! 
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Comment #3 posted by freedom fighter on August 19, 2000 at 21:45:45 PT
thanks for the postings
FoM!Being hard of hearing and no cable, I sure missed out what's going on down   the Shadow.. Tried my best to keep up but your postings do help!Thanks!!
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Comment #2 posted by FoM on August 19, 2000 at 19:13:48 PT
L.A. Shadow Convention Transcripts
Shadow Speech by Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerryís"When I come out, it is usually time for dessert. Most of you know me as kind of an ice cream guy, but Iím here tonight as the president of Business Leaders for Sensible Priorities. Itís a group of over six hundred business leaders across the country, including the chairman or CEO of Philips, Van Heusen, Kodak, Hasbro, Stride-Rite, Goldman Sachs, and Visa Card International. We are concerned that our nations spending priorities are way out of whack." Read More Speech by Rep. Marty Mehan (D-MA)"Iím delighted to be here at this convention; the truth be told I canít think of a better time to talk about campaign finance reform than the convention season. Itís interesting, many of you may think it must be great to be a member of congress and be at a convention; all the perks and all of that." Read More Speech by Governor Gary Johnson (R-NM)"Now, you need to understand and I understand that a lot of people would argue that I do any good whatsoever as governor, but in my heart, thatís what Iím engaged in every single day and this is what I have hoped to do with my life. So, I am trying the darnest to make the most out of this opportunity. And where I come from on this issue initially and it isnít just me, itís every single governor in this country, half of what we spend on law enforcement, half of what we spend on the courts and half of what we spend on the prisons is drug related." Read More Speech by Maxine Waters"In my own state, California ranks #1 in the incarceration of drug offenders. Nearly half of all drug offenders imprisoned in California last year, were imprisoned for simple possession of drugs. In New York, 91% of those imprisoned last year for drug offences were locked up for possession of one of the states three lowest level drug offenses. Despite these bleak numbers, there were efforts to stop the madness surrounding the so-called war on drugs." Read More Response Panel Tuesday 8/15/00"Welcome to our first full rapid response panel. For those of you who were here yesterday, as you know, we had to take it to the streets. And as soon as our panel started in the streets, about a hundred LAPD riot police arrived to protect the L.A. citizens from Gore Vidal and Norm Ornstein." Read More Speech by Rev. Jesse Jackson"The power is not in the ticket. The power is in the picket. When we march and fight, we always win. We have to march together. " Read More Speech by Speech by Granny D (Doris Haddock)"The great struggle of the twenty-first century is underway. All things of human and natural scale; democracy, individual freedom, the healthy earth itself, now is in a struggle for survival against oversized public and private institutions that threaten the position of the individual and the health of the earth through the relentless, rapacious march of unregulated, unfenceable greed." Read More Speech by David Crosby"Remember Ghandi. Remember this little man. Heís a little prune of a man, [applause] wrapped in a bedsheet. Didnít have two nickels to rub together, stopped the British Empire in its tracks!" Read More Speech by Charles Rangel"My brothers and my sisters, let me thank you for the political courage that it takes for you, day after day, to stick with those beliefs that you have ≠ notwithstanding sometimes the cross you have to bear and the lack of popularity." Read More Speech Susan Sarandon & Tim Robbins"WeĻre so happy to be here. This is what democracy looks like! There are over 3,000 people serving life sentences under the Three Strikes law for minor offences. These are just a few of those cases. None of these people committed acts of violence against any other than themselves. " Read More Speech by Cornell West"I tell you, I was in many ways excited about the appointment of Senator Brother Joe Lieberman because a blow against bigotry is an advancement for humanity. Jewish brothers and sisters have been a hated people and a haunted people. But if we had a Jewish brother like Paul Wellstone on the ticket, thatís what we talking about. [wild applause]"Read More
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Comment #1 posted by FoM on August 19, 2000 at 19:11:37 PT
L.A. Shadow Convention Transcripts
Shadow Speech by Senator Paul Wellstone "I want to thank everybody here, for taking time out of your lives and giving it to this Shadow Convention, giving it to good public policy, giving it to good politics, giving it to making our country better, our world better, for more integrity, for more justice for people."Read More Speech by Bill Maher "I don't think it's any coincidence that the two guys running are the two best fundraisers. You've got Grandmaster Cash over on the Democratic side, and you've got George Bush, who - I mean, if you'd been running around the country as much as he has getting money, you'd take cocaine, too!"Read More Response Panel Monday 8/14/00"Do you imagine . . . if they thought there was one [bomb?] within one mile of their corporate sponsors up the road that they would have cleared it and moved on by now? I think we know the answer to that, too. " Read More Speech by Rep. John Conyers "Why is it that a guy can be an ultra-conservative all his life and do one damn decent thing, and everybody says, "oh, isnít it wonderful? He did that one thing, remember?" And then . . . well."Read More Speech by Rep. Tom Campbell "These Shadow Conventions were created with three purposes in mind: to discuss the corrupting influence of money in politics, to raise the awareness of poverty and inequality, and have the courage to admit what neither party will Ė that the nationís Drug War has been a failure. Thereís something else that applies to all three, and thatís healing Ė a healing that can begin here in California, a healing thatís necessary in the wake of Prop. 187. Yes, I am speaking to Hispanics and African Americans and Native Americans and people of all colors who canít buy their way into the convention halls. Iím talking about economic fairness and social justice, and Iím challenging us all to demand more of our leaders."Read More Speech by Jesse Jackson Jr."There are many worthy issues that will be discussed at this convention. In fact, I have a feeling that some of you are going to bring up the brutal administration of the death penalty in this country, which has to change. So I credit all of you for your work and advocacy, but tonight my emphasis is on campaign finance reform and on the national party conventions."Read More Speech by Senator Russ Feingold"There are many worthy issues that will be discussed at this convention. In fact, I have a feeling that some of you are going to bring up the brutal administration of the death penalty in this country, which has to change. So I credit all of you for your work and advocacy, but tonight my emphasis is on campaign finance reform and on the national party conventions."Read More Speech by Arianna Huffington "The Philadelphia Shadow was a big hit, but to borrow a phrase from one of Al Goreís convention themes (and we promise not to borrow anything else): 'You Ainít Seen Nothing Yet'."Read More D Speaks out on Campaign Finance Reform"Friends, we are at that difficult time when we try to decide whether to support candidates who may not represent all our reform goals, but who may have a chance of winning and representing at least some of our goals."Read More 2000 Shadow Conventions 2000
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