cannabisnews.com: How To Tell When Neighbourhood is Going To Pot





How To Tell When Neighbourhood is Going To Pot
Posted by CN Staff on June 11, 2003 at 19:49:20 PT
By Andy Juniper
Source: Burlington Post 
How well do you know your neighbours? How well do you know Bernie and Beatrice to the right and Linus and Lucy to the left? And what about Willard and Wanda across the street? Because according to a recent rash of media reports -- sparked and supported by an outbreak of assorted arrests -- houses in quiet suburban neighborhoods are being covertly used as greenhouses to grow ganja. Weed. Herb. Jive Stick. The Righteous Bush. Astro Turf. Black Gold. Gigglesmoke. Mary Jane. That's right, marijuana.
And we're not talking about one or two puny plants here. We're talking spacious, three-floor houses literally crammed with hundreds of metre-high plants with a street value of upwards of half-a-million dollars. Hey, that's a lot of dollars, and that's a lot of dope. The burgeoning number of arrests indicates that this is big business that, like City TV, is "everywhere." Maybe even on your street. Imagine for a moment that Willard, the nice, innocent (albeit, admittedly eccentric) guy across the road -- who's forever coming over and asking if he can borrow an egg, a cup of sugar and an old pair of your wife's pantyhose (ostensibly to secure his tomato plants) -- may not be quite as innocent as you think. He may be up to no good. Bogarting the local hydro company, not to mention you and your other neighbours -- unless they're all in on this, too -- by devaluing neighbourhood property should he get pinched by police. Typically, after every big bust, neighbours exclaim in unison: "We never suspected a thing. They were quiet people. They kept to themselves. Although they did listen to an awful lot of music by Bob Marley and The Wailers!" Law enforcement officials say that if these criminals are to be caught, their neighbours must be more aware of the problem, and more vigilant. Neighbourhood Watch, kicked up a notch! As a public service (Public Service, after all, is my middle name), I'm going to give you the straight dope on these dudes. I'm here to tell you, there's a good chance your neighbours are growing the whacky tobaccy in their house if... * You greet them with a nice, neighbourly, "Hi!", and they respond with a slow, smiley, honest, "Yes. Very." * They flinch when you ask if they have a roach problem. * They refer to their backyard composter as "the big bong out back." * They talk reverently about Jerry Garcia and you realize they're not just mangling the name of a popular Ben & Jerry's ice cream. * When you knock on their door, they automatically shout out: "Dave's not here." And if you happen to reply, "No, man, I'm Dave", they'll answer, by rote, "Dave's not here!" * They buy Twinkies and Visine in bulk. * The hydro rep complains of dizziness after reading their meter. * They break out in a nervous, guilty sweat when you innocently employ terms like "hash it out." * They threaten you with inhumanities upon your person when you casually suggest that The Doobie Brothers stunk, and The Grateful Dead are overrated. * They threaten you with greater inhumanities upon your person when you ask if they'd like you to "cut their grass" while they're on holidays. Good citizens: I hope this helps. And remember to keep an ear out for the neighbour who suggests "the whole neighbourhood is going to pot." Hey, maybe he knows something! Andy Juniper can be visited at his Web site -- http://www.strangledeggs.com -- or contacted at: ajuniper strangledeggs.comComplete Title: How To Tell When The Whole Neighbourhood is Going To PotSource: Burlington Post (CN ON)Author: Andy JuniperPublished: June 07, 2003 Copyright: 2003 Burlington PostContact jdavis haltonsearch.comWebsite: http://www.haltonsearch.com/hr/bp/CannabisNews -- Cannabis Archiveshttp://cannabisnews.com/news/list/cannabis.shtml
Home Comment Email Register Recent Comments Help




Comment #2 posted by John Tyler on June 12, 2003 at 10:13:38 PT
Media might encourage growers
The unintended message in the Canadian media about the grow operation in private homes is the probably overstated vast amount of money that can be made from it. A Canadian home owner might not want to go all out and try to make half a million dollars a year, but he might try for a few plants and settle for 20 to 30 thousand dollars a year to supplement his regular income. It would seem as an encouragement rather than not. 
[ Post Comment ]


Comment #1 posted by afterburner on June 11, 2003 at 20:31:11 PT:
Hey, Let's Turn the Whole Neighbourhood into Narcs
or just re-legalize it, regulate it, and tax it. By reducing the prices with a legitimate business, the illegal grow-op problem withers on the vine.ego transcendence follows ego destruction, we don't need your stinkin' US-style drug war.
[ Post Comment ]


Post Comment