cannabisnews.com: Joe Bob's America: Potheads Unite Joe Bob's America: Potheads Unite Posted by CN Staff on November 01, 2002 at 16:25:09 PT By Joe Bob Briggs Source: United Press International Everybody was having a great time on the lawn of City Hall in Santa Cruz, Calif. The mayor was handing out free pot, as a sort of in-your-face protest against the Drug Enforcement Administration, and people were lighting up joints and celebrating the enlightenment of California's medical marijuana law. But then some jerks ruined everything. A few people lit up NON-NARCOTIC cigarettes -- you know, Camels, Winstons, Parliament Lights -- and they had to be treated like the rude barbarians they were.They were evicted from city property, told to take it to the street if they were going to act like uncivilized rubes. Thank God nobody attempted to light a pipe or cigar. They would have had to be removed in leg irons.You see, California -- the state that absolutely hates smoking -- wants to legalize a drug called delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol, better known as THC, the active ingredient in a Cheech and Chong movie. In fact, they sort of already HAVE legalized it, as long as you have a good reason. A good reason can be, "Hey, man, I've got, like, pain."This would be a medical reason, which is all it takes to make dope smoking legal in the state. The legal standard doesn't even require a prescription -- just "some evidence" that you've consulted a doctor.In fact, in some California counties, the definition of "marijuana for personal medical use" is 99 marijuana plants or fewer growing in your yard. I don't know exactly who the guy is who needs 99 plants for his lumbago -- and they do grow 'em BIG in California -- but we should probably all hook him up to an IV and invite him to our next party.Obviously the Doobie Wars are gonna bring thousands of hippies to the polls this November, not just in California, but in several other Western states and especially Nevada, where a ballot initiative would make possession of three ounces of weed legal. (Just don't smoke it in the casino and scare the grandmas playing the slot machines.)But here's my first question about the whole deal. How can you legalize an act that requires you to participate in a felony in order to come into possession of the dope in the first place?If it's still illegal to SELL dope, then the buyer of the dope is an accessory to a crime that can result in some serious stretch time in prison.I suppose the answer, in Santa Cruz, would be that we'll all band together in little organic farming cooperatives and grow the stuff ourselves. That, too, would all be well and good, except that you would normally have to be checked out by the U.S. Department of Agriculture -- to make sure the substance was safe -- and probably the Food and Drug Administration as well, to make sure which type of dope could be prescribed by doctors.Obviously guys in walk-up West Hollywood apartments aren't going to be able to invest in organic fertilizer, so how can we know they're not getting Arkansas Polio Weed one week, Maui Wowie the next, and Acapulco Gold the week after that? There's a difference -- in intensity, effectiveness, and just plain ole smokeability.The feds are obviously upset by the whole "ease up on dope" movement, and drug czar John Walters has been campaigning against legalization in Nevada, using the old arguments that it's a "gateway drug" and causes all kinds of social mayhem -- traffic accidents, domestic violence, addiction and, of course, health risks. (Although the science is kinda shaky on both the risks AND the benefits.)Obviously he doesn't realize he's talking to people who live in VEGAS.But my other question about cannabis legalization is this. If the purpose is medical -- as almost ALL the laws say it is -- then how should it be taken to achieve the maximum medical benefit? We know quinine is beneficial, but we don't expect people to strip it off a tree and figure out how to get it into their bodies.There's already an FDA-approved drug called dronabinol -- commercial name, Marinol -- that delivers the active ingredient in marijuana in tablet form. Why not just, uh, USE IT, and avoid the whole issue of whether people can light up or not? How long can it be, after all, before somebody in California brings a lawsuit saying they were zombified by second-hand dope smoke?If you're gonna take a more potent form of it, though, then why not specify what that form is? How about ingesting it with a water pipe or hookah, so that it goes deeper? What about doing a "hot knife," in which you light a pellet of resin between a pair of red-hot knives, then gulp down the smoke, getting the whole enchilada without the muddle-headed waiting period? There's even a marijuana extract that can be delivered in a spray form, so why not just use that?I mean, it's either medical or it's not medical, right? And if it's medical, then a doctor needs to be specific about how it's to be taken, and a pharmacist needs to guarantee where it came from and in what form. How can we even be talking about "medical marijuana" when, in fact, it doesn't exist?Various forms of hemp have been ingested, of course, for 5,000 years that we know of. For the first 4,960 of those years, it was legal pretty much everywhere.George Washington kept a few plants for medical use himself. Then in 1937 we decided it should be a controlled substance, and in 1970 it was classified as a "Schedule I" drug, which means there IS no medical use for it.Now the Western states are telling the feds to get out of the business of defining which drugs are good or bad, and actually I think precedent is on their side. States have always regulated the strength of alcohol, for example, resulting in weird anomalies like the Oklahoma 3.2 beer law. No state is likely to legalize heroin or cocaine. And polls show that most people are conflicted about it -- they don't really want it legalized, but they also don't want people to go to jail for using it.Local and state referenda seem to work on issues like this. San Francisco wants it. Lawrence, Kansas, doesn't want it. What's so wrong with that?Let the potheads congregate in the cities and counties that like pot. Grow it, inspect it, grade it, prescribe how it's to be taken, and if people use it in some way that's not allowed by law, then bust em when you have the time.Right now, I don't think we have the time.Bob Briggs writes a number of columns for UPI and may be contacted at: joebob upi.com or through his Web site at: http://www.joebobbriggs.com From the Life & Mind DeskSource: United Press InternationalAuthor: Joe Bob BriggsPublished: November 1, 2002Copyright 2002 United Press InternationalWebsite: http://www.upi.com/ Contact: http://www.upi.com/about/contact.cfmRelated Articles & Web Site:Conant vs. Walters & Judge Kozinskihttp://freedomtoexhale.com//cw.htmLocal View: Reefer Madness Strikes Againhttp://cannabisnews.com/news/thread14624.shtmlPot Ruling Shields Doctorshttp://cannabisnews.com/news/thread14620.shtml Home Comment Email Register Recent Comments Help Comment #17 posted by VitaminT on November 04, 2002 at 15:39:44 PT I've read other things by Joe Bob, and sometimes he crafts some pretty good satire but this peice meanders quite a bit without being funny or even coming close to making a point.However,I can think of more than a few Texans (West Texans in particular) with as sharp a wit as you can find anywhere; more than a few speaking out with eloquence demanding an end to the War on Cannabis and drugs. Texas richly deserves criticism for it's prisons and for it's love affair with the death penalty. In truth, it's dererving of criticism for things you'd only know about if you lived here.But as far as this article is concerned, where the guy is from explains nothing. [ Post Comment ] Comment #16 posted by eco-man on November 04, 2002 at 14:24:12 PT Yep, the dumbass is from Texas. "What's known is that he comes from some obscure rural county in West Texas. When he was 19 years old, he was hired by Entertainment Editor Ron Smith at the long defunct Dallas Times Herald. As best can be determined, the column called Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In which appeared on January 15, 1982, is the first time he ever set pen to paper ..." http://www.joebobbriggs.com/biography.html [ Post Comment ] Comment #15 posted by eco-man on November 04, 2002 at 14:16:11 PT Joe Bob Briggs is probably from Texas. :) Joe Bob Briggs shows how morons are grown in America. He actually did some funny stuff in the past while hosting movies. But like a lot of old-timers who sold out, but still try to act "cool," he is a typical dumbass American who probably gets his news from Rush Windbag and Fox News. Texas. Astronomical incarceration rate of 1%. CHARTS. http://corporatism.tripod.com/texas.htm [ Post Comment ] Comment #14 posted by DdC on November 02, 2002 at 18:43:37 PT Camels keep me from coughing on the chronic. ¶8) I only have to take a hit or two from the strength of them to get my nictine fix. Similar to chronic requiring less toked than average pot. The expectorant affect of the ganja making one cough is also medicinally what keeps the camels from injuring, me.mho My x-ray last month showed no damage and I've smoked tobacco a few years before starting cannabis. It also aids seniors coughing up phlegm even when eaten. Still no mention of the manufactured chemicals of mass destruction added to camels and other American commercial tobacco's not included in ganja or organic tobacco. The chemical added to keep one from coughing. The flavoring and coloring and burn retardants, pesticides and herbicides residing in the seeds. Ghee I wonder if these chemicals lit on fire sucked into the lungs may be as bad as the tobacco? No mention by the Surgeon General or Congress. We must excuse Congress because we already know they're braindead.). But the topdoc should have mentioned it. 30,000 years of Indians toking it without problems. Turkish and Egyptian tobacco without the I.G.Farbin droppings added. Or neurological damage. Prohibition (curtailment) on tobacco by raising prices only affects the poor going to generic brands with more chemicals and using cheaper tobacco grown with even more chemicals. Again none of the officials at the rally ever came in physical contact with cannabis. But they do have the guts to stand up for the citizens concerning medicinal cannabis. I could rant a page and a half about their typical status quo politicking most in this country practice and see. The cannabis war is just so damn obviously diabolically insane they can't help but "Get it". That along with constant reminders from the citizens. Healthy users are still hassled. The cop rhetoric is still one sided, myth and to maintain the gravy train. Every year pleading with the "Nice" sheriff(sarcasm) to not take the C.A.M.P. funding. Who's department busted Valarie 3 times before the local ganjamed Measure A in 92. And Prop 215 in 96. Or better yet to use the bribes on those needing assistance. Seniors and homeless kids rather than flying monkies eradicating rope. With Adios CAMP listing real threats and dangers to the peace of the community and public town meetings protesting it. But every year there is still a hearing and part or all of Bushit's bribes are taken. Half dozen hemp distributors and still can't grow a hempfield to employ the 2500 on the streets. Traffic jams caters to the tourism polluting the pristine beaches clogging the traffic. The Boardwalk Fascist want to remove neighborhoods and the too little available low income housing for parking space. Build giant hotel complexes to bring in more to a limited space. While the workers live out of town. We are a Nuclear Free Zone and the Green Belts protect a lot of land on the map, unless the developers want more plasticville housing no one can afford. Its a really good symbol.(sarcasm). S.Cruz is one of the best places on earth. But its the people, not the government that makes it that way. Some aspects are getting better but we still have a long way to go to be truly participating Americans, even in good ole Santa Cruz. We can have Peace, Love and Liberty or remain sucklings Addicted to the Teat of D.E.A.th!DdCOrganic Cannabis/Tobacco vs Chemical Cigarettes http://pub3.ezboard.com/fendingcannabisprohibitionwhyitstimetolegalize.showMessage?topicID=310.topic Costa Rica Cannabis v Tobacco Flier [ Post Comment ] Comment #13 posted by DdC on November 02, 2002 at 17:22:01 PT I thought thats what I said...It is what I said! He was there with two previous Mayors and several council members and even a County Supervisor. But none of them actually were in possession, outside of being there. Which is probably being in possession. Same as Klintoon, only he did try to toke, just couldn't handle it. My only point is Joe Bob's a lush redneck and shouldn't be "cute" with peoples lives....Now back to your regularly scheduled program...DdCTop Story: The Steven Tuck Defense Fund. http://www.marijuananews.com/news.php3?sid=588He Must Be Not Abandoned By This Movement, Or The Movement Is Morally Bankrupt. Posted by Richard Cowan on 2002-11-01 15:25:56 [ Post Comment ] Comment #12 posted by canaman on November 02, 2002 at 17:10:11 PT afterburner You're right, hope I didn't seem nit-picky. Just thought you maybe you weren't aware of the Santa Cruz story. I thought it was a bold thing for city officals to do weather they handled the cannabis or not. I'll just blame it all on Joe Bob for twisting and spinning a story to the point nobody understands! [ Post Comment ] Comment #11 posted by afterburner on November 02, 2002 at 16:25:58 PT: canaman/DdC: the Mayor himself didn't hand out pot He was only present to endorse the event while WAMM members and their supporters actually handled the pot. He lent his office to challenge the federal interference with a state issue, but he did not himself supply any patients. [ Post Comment ] Comment #10 posted by delariand on November 02, 2002 at 11:46:01 PT and i quote... "A few people lit up NON-NARCOTIC cigarettes -- you know, Camels, Winstons, Parliament Lights -- and they had to be treated like the rude barbarians they were"This article just tried to tell me that nicotine containing cigarretes are non narcotic. Should I really believe anything else it says? A worse case of cranial-rectal insertion I've never seen. [ Post Comment ] Comment #9 posted by DdC on November 02, 2002 at 11:20:33 PT No the Mayor Never touched the pot... I was there. He observed from a distance. And whatever this garble about removing tobacco, no one ever approached me about my camel straights. Santa Cruz has an ordinance prohibiting cigarettes while standing in lines or crowded places, even outdoors. No one has the right to invade anothers lungspace. I agree with it. If this did happen I'd say it was more of a concern for the many patients who showed up that day. And the press naturally misses the main point and goes after gossip. Joe Bob, Bobby Joe whatever and the other Bob Bobs can go back to Hooterville or the Ozarks and duel their banjo's... Rednecks shouldn't be given microphones or space in gossip columns. How can you tell if he's a redneck...listen to him...Ban Rednecks from Government Positions! Start with Bush!Peace, Love and Liberty or the Greenteeth, swill drinking D.E.A.th!DdCBilly Joebob http://www.cannabinoid.com/boards/politics/media/33/33964.gifBurbon Free Bush http://www.cannabinoid.com/wwwboard/politics/binaries/30/30875.gifBar Dancing http://www.cannabinoid.com/boards/politics/media/33/33983.jpgW's Drunk Driving Record http://www.cannabinoid.com/wwwboard/politics/binaries/31/31131.jpg Billy Bob Bubba [ Post Comment ] Comment #8 posted by Had Enough on November 02, 2002 at 00:12:56 PT Peas in the pod Joe Bob Briggs………….Barry Smith 2 peas in a pod.http://www.cannabisnews.com/news/14/thread14497.shtmlI’ ve Had Enough, I’m sure you have too.Check these powerful allies out!http://www.leap.cc/ [ Post Comment ] Comment #7 posted by canaman on November 02, 2002 at 00:03:06 PT afterburner Actually Joe Bob was telling the truth. The Mayor and other city council members did hand out cannabis in Santa Cruz to protest the D.E.A. raids. I think this was only a few weeks ago.Here's the link:http://www.cannabisnews.com/news/14/thread14156.shtmlJoe Bob Briggs has been around for quite a few years. He was a late night T.V. movie host. Maybe just in Northern California. He also wrote movie reviews for the SF Cronicle. I was surprised to see his name on UPI. My referance to breasts was just one of the stupid thing he did. His movie ratings ....4 breasts, two car crashes, 6 bodies ect. Really dumb If you ask me but I guess people liked it. [ Post Comment ] Comment #6 posted by afterburner on November 01, 2002 at 22:11:34 PT: Joe Bob. I thought at first the reporter was making fun of someone. I was going to read him the guidelines for posting. Then, I realized that Joe Bob is actually his name. Reading his pack of misinformation and lies (The mayor was handing out free pot Not) is slow torture. Thanks, legalizeit, for pointing out the obvious mistake of refering to cannabis, a mild psychedelic, as if it were a narcotic. ego transcendence or ego destruction, that is the question. I have even read newspapers that refer to all substances seized by the police as "drugs" without specifying which one. Talk about hiding the truth. End prohibition. Fight the stonism (alcohol can make you stoned; opiates can make you stoned; do not besmirch cannabis with these ignorant cliches}. [ Post Comment ] Comment #5 posted by legalizeit on November 01, 2002 at 21:42:23 PT Jerkus Maximus Apparently Joe Bob doesn't know much about the history and science of prohibition. Pot joints are just as "non-narcotic" as cigs; it's just theat the brain-deprived prohibs that did the scheduling incorrectly classed cannabis as a "narcotic" and nobody seems interested in correcting the error.It never ceases to amaze me that editors of major news sources allow crap like this to get into print.The only shred of sensible reporting in this article:"Various forms of hemp have been ingested, of course, for 5,000 years that we know of. For the first 4,960 of those years, it was legal pretty much everywhere."So, for 4,960 years that we know of, people had no problem with the use of cannabis. Why, then, does Joe Bob (sounds like somebody from the sticks to me) dig up every corny pot pun he can think of to favor prohibition and villify cannabis users?Joe Bob, go back to the Ponderosa Ranch, drink your whiskey and smoke your non-narcotic cigs! [ Post Comment ] Comment #4 posted by canaman on November 01, 2002 at 20:33:56 PT Starring Joe Bob Briggs as idiot journalist What is UPI attempting to do with Joe Bob's juvenile attempt at being some kind of 'columnist'. Doesn't UPI realize that the War on Americans is not some B movie that some two bit reveiwer uses stereotypical one-liners to try and explain. Shame on UPI for printing this trash and Joe Bob stick to reviewing (and counting how many breasts)are in those B movies.I give this story two thumbs down and two middle fingers! [ Post Comment ] Comment #3 posted by p4me on November 01, 2002 at 18:29:48 PT What kind of propaganda is that? Well you know what? When something stinks for everyone? Even the advertisers for the government are worried about stinking. This article riles the sensibilities of the informed because of the repetition of the same old lines. When you get over our government arresting us while lying, fining, arresting, and imprisoning people that use cannabis all the while claiming to protect us from marijuana. This is compilation propaganda mixed with too much repetion. By being so absurd so often in such a stinking manner is helping us. When something stinks it stinks for everyone. Even the prohibitionist advertising consultants wish stink like this weren't out there. It's like this people. It is going to come down to one liners to free cannabis for everone. Do a search for LB0.sux for the bumpersticker collection. But we are going to have to be in people's faces and everyone is going to have to get good at getting in a line while in line. Get out some truth in people's faces.Now here is my line for Santa Cruz. Their are a lot of people pissed off in Santa Cruz because of the false classification of cannabis. This lie despite a 1988 order for them to stand down from their lies has lead to many deaths. Prohibition kills.Now look at all the words repeating what the yellow parrots do best. Hundrds of words of repition against some pissed off potheads. Another pothead blahblahblah parroting. Couldn't he spare two words for prohibition kills.If I were to debate against the crap in this article, where I were offered a quarter of the words for commentary, and I were writing for the choir, I would finish my word count with some chosen words for the choir. It needs to be parroted and employ the repetition of the prohibitionist.Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills. Prohibition kills.Prohibionist are murderers. Parrot that, moonies. A little repetion please. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. Prohibionist are murderers. 1 [ Post Comment ] Comment #2 posted by goneposthole on November 01, 2002 at 18:07:06 PT no end to the impertinent nonsense what really has been lost are the homegrown plantings of cannabis that once dotted the land.No more.Either it is some hydroponic strain that has big bucks written on it, or the stuff grown in Mexico in warehouses.I long for the days of homegrown grown not too far outside the city limits.Gone but not forgotten. [ Post Comment ] Comment #1 posted by The GCW on November 01, 2002 at 17:37:27 PT Tabloid - Potheads Unite (Everybody must get stoned)Celebrity stoners by Dana Larsen (31 Oct, 2002) Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, James Brown, Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock. (AND MORE) http://www.hempbc.com/articles/2496.htmlAND NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED WAR ON DRUGS (and even plants). [ Post Comment ] Post Comment